Dementia Care Over The Holidays

you cannot visit in person, you can still connect over the holidays.

• Use video call software like Zoom or Skype to gather virtually. Since it can be difficult to have conversations with larger groups over video, adding some structure to the call can help. Play a trivia game, sing seasonal songs or share pictures from past gatherings.
• Use video to capture and digitally send special moments, such as children opening gifts.
• Plan a video call to cook or bake a special recipe together.
• Record and send a “video holiday card” that includes personalized messages.
• Schedule a time to watch a favorite holiday movie together from separate homes. Talk on the phone, text or video chat while you watch.
• If your loved one lives in a long-term care community and struggles with technology, ask a primary caregiver if they can help facilitate a video call. If that’s not possible, connecting with a simple phone call goes a long way toward feeling together on the holidays.
• Cross talk or simultaneous conversations can be challenging for people living with dementia or people with hearing impairments, so consider this when planning.

Familiarize others with the situation

The holidays are full of emotions, so it can help to let friends and family members know what to expect. If the person is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, relatives and friends might not notice any changes. But the person living with dementia may have trouble following conversation or tend to repeat things. As the disease progresses, there may be significant changes in cognitive abilities that have occurred since their last interactions with some family members.

These changes can be a surprise and difficult to accept. Make sure friends and family understand that changes in behavior and memory are caused by the disease and not the person. People can help with communication by being patient, not interrupting or correcting, and giving the person time to finish his or her thoughts. If the person cannot communicate clearly, respond to their tone.

You may find it easier to share changes in a letter or email that can be sent to multiple recipients. Here is an example:

“I’m writing to let you know how things are going at our house. While we’re looking forward to the holidays, we thought it might be helpful if you understood our current situation in advance.

You may notice that ___ has changed since you last saw him/her. Among the changes you may notice are I’ve enclosed a picture so you know how ___ looks now. Because ___ sometimes has problems remembering and thinking clearly, his/her behavior is a little unpredictable.

Please understand that ___ may not remember who you are and may confuse you with someone else. Please don’t feel offended by this. He/she appreciates your time with us and so do we. Please treat ___ as you would any person. A warm smile will be appreciated more than you know. Here are some resources on communicating with somebody living with dementia.

We would ask that you call when you’re nearby so we can prepare for your arrival. With your help and support, we can create a holiday memory that we’ll all treasure.”

For more ideas on how to let others know about changes in your loved one, join ALZConnected, our free online support community where caregivers like you share tips on what has worked for them.